There are few greater issues in this world than injustice. Still, many would argue that all other problems stem from just this one.
Poverty - a lack of care for others by those climbing the ladder of “success.”
World hunger - a lack of knowledge about how to best assist and care for others.
Homelessness - a generational lack of care for others by societies.
Human trafficking and sex trade - a lack of care for others by those placing innocent people in these positions.
Racism and the murder of innocent people for being human - a lack of education, responsibility, and misplaced authority.
I haven’t, and still am not quite able to express my thoughts surrounding the events in our nation recently. I am a white, christian, female barista living in small town America who runs at night because I feel so safe in my city-limits. I’ve never truly had to fear for my life and I still don’t, and don’t believe I ever will.
I repress my emotions more often than not and so as news reports, videos, and protests circled I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Until it reached my front porch I was able to stay numb to it, which is problematic. Until I began seeing posts from people I personally know as they witnessed their friends being sprayed with mace and taunted in their hometowns for taking a stand, which is also problematic. As I watched store front windows being broken and cars set on fire. Not understanding what I’m meant to believe and stand for other than the fact that humans are humans and we are all created equal, regardless your social standing or religious beliefs.
This morning I sat in the small town coffee shop I work at and witnessed an officer come through our front door to make us aware of the protest that would be happening tonight in front of our small town courthouse. As he left my friend commented on how, “I cannot believe this is our reality right now.”
I can’t either. I feel like I’m in a perpetual dream sometimes, and other times I feel like this life has never been more real. I’m reading about riots in the city just 30 minutes away and processing how this world can be so broken. Four months ago I was on a mission trip in a crowded city, eating in Chick-Fil-A with friends, and going to concerts and now I don’t even know if I should leave my house.
Yesterday I read a post by a friend who had witnessed and documented the protest and riots in Columbus Ohio. As another white, christian, female she commented on how she ran from tear gas, assisted a man who had been sprayed in the face with mace, and inhaled the smoke of destruction and fear. I was at a gas station when I read her post and when I got back in my car I felt like I couldn’t see in front of me. I didn’t even know if I could drive the minute and a half back home because I couldn’t feel my feet. The fear that had invaded turned into anger, regret, and bitter weeping. I cannot believe this is real life because we should be past these kinds of injustice by now. 2020 has gone through hell and back and I know it’s not even over yet. I see how this world is broken and how these issues are lending themselves to mending our humanity, but the process is painful.
I have friends with family in the police force who are some of the greatest people I know. I have friends with family who still make comments about people that shouldn’t be made. I don’t know how to agree with protests that lead to looting and vandalism and injury, but I’m still figuring out how people are supposed to take action. We cannot keep blaming all officers for these killings because not all officers would have made the same choices. At the same time I believe greater training and higher accountability is necessary across the board.
I refuse to take any side other than these people were humans who were unrightly murdered and something needs to be done about that. I cannot tell you how this will all be changed but prayer, petition, and action are necessary steps I can no longer ignore, and I regret all the time I have spent doing so.
I am sorry.
I see you.
I hear you.
I am with you and will fight for you.
Because you are me and I am you and they are us and we are them.
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