It took about a month, but in late March I finally caught on to the Myers Briggs Personality Test trend, wishing to know exactly who I am – the way only a generated quiz can tell you. The test took longer than originally thought, but in the end confirmed what was already assumed – that I am about 91.3% extroverted (ENFJ). This is something that I have been told my whole life, and occasionally discouraged from, being told I have too “flirty” of a personality, or that I often come off too strong. What I never fully understood was when friends told me that they were 100% extroverted, but not always outgoing. Didn’t they go hand in hand? I have always had a very sociable personality, and loved spending time with friends more than anything, often placing it at the top of the list when asked about my hobbies. What I have come to realize more recently though is how easy it is to be overly extroverted, all at the same time wishing to stay on the outskirts of the conversation, and observe your friends playing the board game rather than joining in. This realization came full circle last week at the church group I’ve finally gotten back to after a year away at school. After having spent the day babysitting there was nothing I wanted more than to sit back and listen to my friends laughing and talking, and enjoy their laughing and talking, without having to speak out myself. Now this isn’t because I am antisocial in any way, but rather the fact that I am perfectly content with listening in on your discussion, no matter the subject. Now the truth is that this has been my reality for the last several years and has often left me wondering why I’m not more talkative, or why I can’t be outgoing every second of every day, and ultimately thinking this was a personal problem that I had to solve. But the moment a close friend affirmed my wish to sit but not socialize was the moment I wanted to write this post. That was the moment I wanted to reassure people that it is perfectly normal to be talkative, be outgoing, want to join in on every conversation, and play every game, and that it’s perfectly normal to sit in a room full of people you love, never speaking a single word, to observe the love and friendships and joys happening around you, and counting them as your own.
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