“Love your process.” This one statement, those three words, changed my life five months ago. Those are words that I feel every person should hear and understand at some point in their life, but this time it’s about me. About six weeks ago the second year and the third semester of my college career began. For about two weeks my class load was manageable, and I thought I was going to swing six classes with a 4.0 GPA once again. But man, was I wrong. Dropping a class is never fun. And that’s something I can tell you after having dropped one for the first time ever. There were many stages in making that decision, which included but were not limited to: unbelief, doubt, tears, more tears, and lots of pushing. Similarly, twenty years of not dating is difficult. Watching all my friends with their significant other, or even beginning to get married, and here I am, never having been asked on a date. Now don’t get me wrong, this is nothing I regret or am ashamed of in the slightest. This is actually something I am proud of, as I have managed to live twenty years without wasting time with someone I wasn’t going to marry. I have lived twenty years letting God guide me, and not a man. But at the same time this means I have lived twenty years never kissed. I have lived twenty years never having my “meet cute.” (If you don’t know what a “meet cute” is, that is your homework for tonight). I have lived twenty years never knowing if the guy liked me back. Once again, this is no issue for me, as I have always considered myself to be a very strong willed and independent person, but I have gone twenty years wondering who is going to pull me back down to earth when I go a little bit too crazy. The answer, the one that’s hard to swallow and remind myself each day, is that it’s God. I’m not denying that God created us for relationship, or that a man should lead his wife, I just haven’t met that man yet, so until then, Jesus is that man. The reason I consider this to be “loving my process” is that it isn’t always fun. It’s Fall, which means all I want is to sit around a bonfire with someone next to me keeping me warm. As Christmas comes in a short few months I wish so deeply to have someone special to celebrate with. But as I look around to my friends and their sickeningly adorable relationships, I love my state of singleness. Not because I actually love it, but because I know God has me in it for a reason, even if I don’t know what that is yet. Twenty years I’ve lived “alone,” and just now I’m beginning to love the process God has me in to lead me to “the one.”
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